Alcoholism, like any addiction, is a progressive illness. I have hundreds of friends in recovery with very similar experiences to mine, but there are also wildly varying differences. But ultimately and most crucially, we all ended up in the same position – at our rock bottom, desperate for a way out as life had become too much to bear.

Becoming A Grown-up

When I had to start “adulting” in life, like getting a job, buying a house, settling down and generally being this “adult” I had heard about, I didn’t know how to cope with the stresses and responsibilities of real life. My drinking became less sociable and more isolated. It progressed from moderate weekend drinking to heavy daily drinking, often starting in the mornings to get over the shakes and sweats from the day before. I became increasingly secretive and deceptive with my partner, my friends, my family, my boss and colleagues. Hiding drink around my house and in my locker at work. Drinking on the train commuting into the city. Lying about a pretend illness I had to cover me on the days when I couldn’t make it to work. My life began to unravel – and fast.

Light at the end of the tunnel

A neighbour of my parents was in long-term recovery from alcoholism and had got sober through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and she introduced me to the 12-step programme and took me to my first few meetings. Like many people I know in recovery, I didn’t “get it” the first time around, or even the second or third. It took me some months before I fully committed to admitting I was an alcoholic. When I did and started working on the programme, my life turned around quite rapidly. For 2 years I remained sober, rebuilt my career, became financially stable and felt happy. However, I began to drift away from AA and started to transfer my alcohol addiction into other destructive, addictive behaviours that I shall cover in the coming weeks. It was only a matter of time before I returned to the bottle.

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James' Recovery Story

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